Absolutely Everything You Need To Know To Avoid Being Mugged

my kids in the morning

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Believe it or not, there are precautions you can take to help decrease your odds of becoming the victim of a mugging. Follow these steps to learn how to stay safe on the streets!

1. When leaving a party late at night, travel in a swarm of locusts: Muggers are much more likely to target a person walking alone than a massive swarm of desert locusts. Next time you’re heading out late at night, try to find some locusts who are heading in your direction and walk with them. The more the merrier!

2. If possible, restrict your route to well-lit red carpet premieres: Most muggings occur along dark side streets and alleyways. Even if it takes longer, you’re always safer sticking to the red carpet when traveling at night.

3. When you go out, avoid carrying large treasure chests: Carrying a treasure chest will signal to muggers that you might have lots of precious rubies and gold doubloons on you. Be smart, and conceal your treasure in a cave on a desert island or in a money belt.

4. Walk with confidence and always fly a kite that says ‘Don’t mug me!’: The more confident you seem and the higher you fly your “Don’t mug me!” kite, the less of a target you become. If someone asks for a turn with your kite, do not let them. They might take a really long turn.

5. Remain vigilant by avoiding distractions, like trying to convince Kevin James there was never a show called ‘King Of Queens’ and that he must have just made it all up in his head:
Distracted walkers are easy targets for muggings. When you’re out and about, you should be taking note of your surroundings, not attempting to make Kevin James believe the sitcom that made him a household name only ever existed within the confines of his own imagination. Be smart. Stay alert.

6. When you sense someone might be about to mug you, mug them first: Don’t be afraid to take action. If someone seems like they might be following you, pull a gun on that person and steal their valuables. This will send a clear message to the potential mugger and decrease your chances of getting mugged by 90 percent. At the end of the day, this is the only surefire way to avoid getting mugged.

Found at Clickhole.

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alan alda statues

Alan Alda was so excited about winning an Emmy for writing in 1979 (pictured above) that he did a cartwheel down the aisle en route to the podium — and landed in Emmy’s pantheon in the process. This wasn’t his first victory. He’d been hailed as best comedy actor in 1974 and earned a statuette in 1977 for directing the M*A*S*H episode ”Dear Sigmund” (which also earned him a writing nom). Alda’s scripting success for the episode ”Inga” made him the only person in Emmy history to win for acting, directing, and writing.

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The ‘dirty little secret’ of electric cars

Even if you believe in the man-made global warming swindle, buying an electric car will do little to reduce CO2 emissions, as the production and charging of electric cars causes heavy CO2 emissions. According to peer-reviewed research,  “If a typical electric car is driven 50,000 miles over its lifetime, the huge initial emissions from its manufacture means the car will actually have put more carbon-dioxide in the atmosphere than a similar-size gasoline-powered car driven the same number of miles.”

Read it all HERE.

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These seven charts explain how Ferguson—and many other US cities—wring revenue from black people and the poor

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‘Secret’ EPA map is a ‘darn can of worms’ for North Dakota, critics say

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After protestors in Ferguson, Missouri, were met with a militarized police force, new attention was brought to the Pentagon’s 1033 program, a program that supplies military-grade equipment to local police departments, often for free. Check out a commercial Reason TV has unearthed advertising the program to law enforcement.

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Read about the rise of Adolf Hitler. And notice how it seems Barack Obama is following the same script!

Adolf Hitler – Progressive Pioneer

President Obama’s second inaugural was a speech that the Obama Media literally drooled over as a straight forward and forceful expression of progressivism unmatched in American history. I agree, it was, but there was one thing that bothered me… the tendency of these media personalities to ignore the sources of many of the ideas the president expressed so well.

In the interest of fairness and as a debt to history, I think it’s important that we take a minute to give due credit to one of the greatest progressives in history, someone who undoubtedly should be an inspiration and influence to all progressives – former German leader Adolf Hitler, who against strong odds rose to power and fundamentally changed Germany and for a while, the world.

Like our president, Adolf Hitler came from humble beginnings, the son of an Austrian civil servant in Linz whom died when he was fourteen. Some biographers have said that Alois Heidler provided the young Adolf with his first example of government in action and how it could affect people’s lives. Young Hitler’s early years also undoubtedly gave him a sense of the importance of education and how government could strengthen it. As a young student, Adolf Hitler was frequently at odds with his non-unionized teachers, who seemed content to teach by rote and lacked strong support from government.

When Adolf Hitler gravitated to Vienna as a young man to pursue a career as a painter, not only was he influenced by other progressive thinkers like Houston Stewart Chamberlain and Heinrich Gotthard von Treitschke, but also by an extraordinary activist progressive politician, Karl Lueger, the Burgomaster (Mayor) of Vienna, whom Hitler later called ‘a genius’ and claimed as a model. Lueger, whose Christian Socialist Party was organized along many of the same lines that Hitler would later adopt for his National Socialist Party, could best be described as a early practitioner of Saul Alinky’s political ethics, balancing one special interest group against another for his own political advancement. At one point, when some of his anti-Semitic supporters questioned his taking campaign contributions from wealthy Jewish donors, Luegar famously shut them down by telling them that he was the one whom would decide who was a Jew! Lueger is also credited with municipalizing utilities and instituting public transportation in Vienna, along with a number of other shovel ready public works projects.

Finish reading this HERE.

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Gun porn….

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