Biden Won’t Rescue a Spluttering Obama in Tonight’s Debate

Published October 11, 2012 | By Iowadawg

I haven’t been able to get a good comedic feel for tonight’s vice presidential debate between Paul Ryan and Joe Biden.

It’s easy to lampoon President Obama. He’s a pretentious, long-winded, self-important bore of a snob. That’s a gimme, humor-wise. But with all his gaffes, kookiness, and thinning hair plugs, Biden virtually defies lampooning. Just how do you satirize someone whose only redeeming — almost charming — quality is that he’s the closest thing to self-satire we’re ever likely to see again in the vice presidency during our lifetimes?

There may be some method to Biden’s goofy madness, though, and he could very well be playing us all for suckers. After all, he’s able to get away with saying and doing things that would get the rest of us shunned by even our closest friends and family. That’s a rare gift.

I have a confession to make. I was so certain that Mitt Romney was going to trounce Obama last Wednesday night that I wrote a great deal of my very well-received American Thinker article announcing his triumph hours before the debate started. I couldn’t have been more accurate. And no, that’s not cheating or unethical. It’s a perfectly legitimate tactic journalists use when facing a late-night deadline for an event that doesn’t begin until late at night.

The way it works is that a journalist will write a “shell” of a story of what’s likely to occur based on his advanced knowledge of the event, people, and personalities involved. After the event ends, the journalist will “tweak” the story, adding any relevant facts, details, or omissions. He will file the story with the copydesk and then dash off to nearest the bar to get his drink on early before the rest of the late-night newsroom crew files in. (You probably can tell that I’ve done that before — a lot.)

Now, that tactic usually works well as long as the journalist is knowledgeable as to the subject and remains within the bounds of possibilities and ethics — and actually covers the event. I worked at a newspaper where it didn’t go so well. Our entertainment reporter covered a late-night concert featuring a highly acclaimed male concert pianist. Oh, he filed a great story, but it had one “minor” problem — the male concert pianist had taken ill earlier that day and was replaced by a female pianist who just happened to be Asian.

The reporter’s excuse was it was late and he was tired and had sat farther back than he normally did when covering concerts. He wasn’t fired, though he should have been. But this was at the same newspaper where one of our reporters was found passed out cold in a crackhouse and arrested in a police drug sting. They released her the next morning after we verified (lied about, really) her claim that she was working on a story for the paper.

At any rate, based on what I know of the individual strengths and weaknesses of Obama and Romney, I could write the outcome of the next two presidential debates today and be 98 percent certain that I would be dead-on accurate. Here’s a hint: decisive Romney routs.

Paul Ryan had better beware. His strongest suit is his detailed knowledge of U.S. domestic policy. Biden is not going to attack him there. Instead, Biden is going to strike at what he thinks is Ryan’s weakest spot — foreign policy. (You ever noticed our overseas interests stopped being referred to as “foreign affairs” after Bill Clinton came along? Wonder why.)

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At a critical time for the Democratic Party as presently constituted, the party sees fit to present a fool, following a venerable tradition:

“The Democratic Party can always be relied on to make a damn fool of itself at the critical time.” – Sen. Benjamin R. Tillman, Democrat, 1904

That is to say, on the heels of perhaps the worst presidential debate performance in the history of the republic, Joe Biden must ride to the rescue of the floundering campaign of his boss when he takes the stage for the 2012 vice-presidential debate.

The litany of Biden’s ridiculousness, dishonorable statements and mind-boggling actions during his adult lifetime on the federal dole is well known. He lifted phrases from the speeches of British politician Neil Kinnock. He clumsily attempted to get Thomas Sowell to say Sowell was an anti-black bigot. He assured Clarence Thomas that if the allegations made against Thomas by Anita Hill saw the light of day, he, Biden, would be Thomas’s “biggest defender.” He greeted John Roberts during his confirmation hearings by respectfully saying “Hey, Judge.” On and on the litany goes without even coming to Biden’s remarks about 7-Eleven employees, the clean, articulate nature of his future chief, his counting ability, and his keen sensitivity for the disabled.

As Biden and Republican Party vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan face off on Thursday, this republic stands on the brink. Even if it were possible for the self-styled guardians of “economic patriotism” such Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and the president himself to hit up their accounts and those of their friends to donate $16 trillion to the Treasury, we would merely climb to broke. Yet we are told unceasingly that we must pour more money into vital government functions such as taxpayer-funded birth control for eternal schoolgirls, more money into “green” boondoggles, and more money for the ever-increasing millions who claim dependency in exchange for their signatures at election time.

While the Middle East burns the American flag, images of Obama, and an American diplomat is assassinated, the administration responds by aiming its retaliation not at the perpetrators, but at the principle of freedom from government interference. While addressing a den of gangsters, the president warned that the future belongs those who reject the First Amendment as it applies to those who would happily shred the Constitution – and our necks. How far we have fallen since president Thomas Jefferson sent the Marines to Tripoli after being “insulted” by Islam.

At this hour of peril, the president apparently and astonishingly believes that Joe Biden, a clown, is the man best suited to handle the reins of the presidency in case of an emergency and that we, the citizens of this republic, should respect that judgment. Obama’s endorsement of Biden alone is enough to disqualify them both from re-election. It also confirms that the notorious “Pitchfork Ben” knew his own kind so very well over a century ago.

Got Racism?

Liberal racism sightings have become like a lunatic’s version of “Where’s Waldo?” Kevin Baker of Harper’s magazine says Romney’s referring to his “five boys” in last week’s debate was how he “slyly found a way” to call Obama a “boy.” Says Baker: “How the right’s hard-core racists must have howled at that!”

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews says the word “apartment” is racist because black people live in apartments. He also says the word “Chicago” is racist because — despite its well-known reputation as the home of Al Capone and the Daley machine — a lot of black people live there, too. (And don’t get him started on “Chicago apartments”!)

As we go to press, Matthews is working on an exciting new hypothesis that peanut butter is racist.

Meanwhile, my new favorite actress, Stacey Dash, sends an inoffensive little tweet supporting Mitt Romney and is buried in tweets calling her “an indoor slave” and a “jiggaboo,” who was “slutting (herself) to the white man.” (And those were just the tweets from the Obama 2012 Re-election Campaign!)

Could we get an expert opinion from Chris Matthews or Kevin Baker about whether any of that is racist?

It’s a strange thing with liberals. They spend so much time fawning over black nonentities — like Maya Angelou, Eugene Robinson, Barack and Michelle Obama, and Rachel Maddow’s very, very, very special black guest Melissa Harris-Perry — that, every once in awhile, they seem to erupt in racist bile to restore their mental equilibrium.

After President George W. Bush appointed Condoleezza Rice the first black female secretary of state, she was maligned in racist cartoons portraying her as Aunt Jemima, Butterfly McQueen from “Gone With the Wind,” a fat-lipped Bush parrot and other racist cliches.

Kevin Baker didn’t notice any of that because he was working on his theory that referring to your sons is racist.

When Michael Steele ran for senator from Maryland, he was depicted in blackface and with huge red lips by liberal blogger Steve Gilliard. Sen. Charles Schumer’s Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee dug up a copy of Steele’s credit report — something done to no other Republican candidate.

Is that more or less racist than Romney mentioning his sons? More or less racist than the word “apartment”?

Mia Love, a black Republican running for Congress in Utah had her Wikipedia page hacked with racist bile, heavy on the N-word. Her campaign headquarters has been bombarded with racist graffiti and slimy mailings with pictures of Klansman next to photos of her family.

Some would say that’s even more racist than Romney talking about his sons.

On less evidence than the birthers have, liberals slandered both Clarence Thomas and Herman Cain with the racist stereotype of black men as sexual predators.

As the preceding short list suggests, liberals usually limit their racist slime to conservative blacks. But not always.

In 2008, Bill Clinton said of Obama “a few years ago this guy would have been carrying our bags.” Democratic Sen. Harry Reid praised Obama for not speaking in a “Negro dialect.” Joe Biden complimented Obama for being “clean” and “articulate.”

Did I mention that Kevin Baker thinks that Romney referring to his “five boys” is racist?

Two years ago, liberal newsman Dan Rather said the criticism of Obama was that he “couldn’t sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic.” (I immediately called for Rather’s firing for that, and then remembered that he didn’t have a job.)

Last week, Rather won the 2012 Edward R. Murrow Award for Lifetime Achievement from Washington State University. That’s not a joke — or at least not my joke.

Meanwhile, evidence of alleged Republican racism invariably consists of tenuous connections and apocryphal signals normally associated with schizophrenics and sufferers of “Thrilled Leg Syndrome.”

Since February 2008, the primary evidence of racism has been failure to fully support Obama’s election, policies or re-election. As Slate magazine’s Jacob Weisberg put it during the last presidential campaign, only if Obama were elected president would children in America be able to “grow up thinking of prejudice as a nonfactor in their lives.”

I wish I had a nickel for every kid who’s come up to me in an airport and said, “What I wouldn’t give to be able to think of prejudice as a non-factor in my life …”

Curiously, liberals weren’t concerned about what children in America would think if Clarence Thomas’ Supreme Court nomination had been defeated. No, only electing the most liberal person ever to seek the presidency on a major party ticket would prove that the country could “put its own self-interest ahead of its crazy irrationality over race.”

The left’s racial demagoguery worked: In 2008, Obama received a larger proportion of the white vote than any Democrat running for president in nearly 40 years. (Though he tied Clinton’s 1996 white vote record.)

And look how well that turned out! We haven’t heard another peep about racism since then.

Biden Won’t Rescue a Spluttering Obama in Tonight’s Debate

Got Racism?

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