This is for all you guys. Just wanting the secret of how great tits fly!
Aint going to mess with this by posting pictures or videos, instead just give you the link to go to!
Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Peter says “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”
Forrest responds “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”
Peter goes on, “Yes I know, Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions.
First: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. The first thing the next morning, Peter returns to the gate to find Forrest already there waiting for him. Peter smiles warmly and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest says, “Well, the first one – how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.
The saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest! That’s not what I was thinking, but… you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer.”
“How about the next one: How many seconds in a year?”
“Now that one’s harder” says Forrest, “But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded St. Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”
Forest says “Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second…..”
“Hold it,” Peter interrupts. “I see where you’re going with this, and I guess you’re right. It wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give you credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”
Forrest replied, “Andy.” “OK, OK,” said a frustrated gatekeeper, “I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you came up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”
“That was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learned it from the song! ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own…’”
What isn’t racist to the left these days?
. . . The distrust of the government didn’t surprise the longtime Congressman, but he noted that “a lot of women are involved in these lower income jobs, a lot of minorities,” and later explained, “the government doesn’t have the racism and discrimination that the private sector enjoys.” This, to Rangel, means that “a lot of people could to better with the government job,” both minorities, women, and the elderly, working in places such as the post office. Bolling asked again to confirm whether he really meant the private sector had discrimination.
“There’s no doubt about it,” Rep. Rangel replied. “People don’t like to talk about it because it’s uncomfortable,” he noted, and he explained that this wasn’t a new phenomenon, as Irish and Italian immigrants had felt the same, which fed the size of local governments in urban areas. He noted that he was only positing one theory about the success of government employment, that minorities “feel better, that they’re getting a fairer shake, that it’s more fair and balanced than getting an interview in the private sector.”
Via Weekly Standard:
In President Obama’s first budget, entitled (with no apparent sense of irony) “A New Era of Responsibility,” he projected that the federal budget deficit in 2012 would be a rather hefty $581 billion (see summary table S-1). Fast-forwarding three years, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) now projects that it will instead be $1.079 trillion, meaning that, if the CBO is right, Obama was wrong by $498,000,000,000. To put that into perspective, that roughly half-trillion dollar margin of error is more than Obama allocated is this year’s budget for Medicare (see table S-3). Medicare could magically have become free for 2012, and the deficit would still have exceeded Obama’s earlier estimate.
Deficit spending under Obama has truly been historic. An editorial in the Wall Street Journal rightly observes that “Mr. Obama has the worst fiscal record of any President in modern times. No one else is even close.”