- At some point I worry that self driving cars will go on a route just to ensure you see certain stores or billboards, the real world equivalent of a pop up ad.
- You know you are old when 1) You are watching Celebrity Family Feud and don’t recognize any celebrity, and 2) You are watching Family Feud.
- You don’t truly realise how strong your legs are until you try to do a handstand.
- The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, Until it’s too light to light.
- Once self driving cars are common, get ready for that really creepy first news story about a guy who died in the car, and it just kept driving him across the country.
- Serial dater, Taylor Swift, makes millions writing songs about exes who use her for sex. Therefore, through associative properties, Taylor Swift is a prostitute. There, I said it.
- In the next Bond film, Q should give 007 a gadget that is never used. Just to mess with people.
- Cinderella’s dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face.
- A billionaire spending $1000 is like a millionaire spending $1, which is like someone with $10,000 spending 1 cent.
- Saying “Fuck it” actually motivates me more than “You can do this”.
Land of OH PUCK IT
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Oh, and one last thing to keep in mind: FUCK ALL LIBERALS!!!
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