Ten Thoughts For Friday

  1. At some point I worry that self driving cars will go on a route just to ensure you see certain stores or billboards, the real world equivalent of a pop up ad.
  2. You know you are old when 1) You are watching Celebrity Family Feud and don’t recognize any celebrity, and 2) You are watching Family Feud.
  3. You don’t truly realise how strong your legs are until you try to do a handstand.
  4. The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, Until it’s too light to light.
  5. Once self driving cars are common, get ready for that really creepy first news story about a guy who died in the car, and it just kept driving him across the country.
  6. Serial dater, Taylor Swift, makes millions writing songs about exes who use her for sex. Therefore, through associative properties, Taylor Swift is a prostitute. There, I said it.
  7. In the next Bond film, Q should give 007 a gadget that is never used. Just to mess with people.
  8. Cinderella’s dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face.
  9. A billionaire spending $1000 is like a millionaire spending $1, which is like someone with $10,000 spending 1 cent.
  10. Saying “Fuck it” actually motivates me more than “You can do this”.
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