The Night Before Christmas (with ‘Obama Claus’)
by Duh Progressive
‘Twas the night before a certain faith-based celebratory occasion, and all through the house,
Not a creature was aware of an approaching louse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney we don’t use,
For proud liberals we are, so we dare not light its fuse.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Without one thought of fiscal cliffs dancing in their heads.
My wife in his teddy, and I in my Birkenstocks,
Had just settled into bed, boy were we socked.
When in from outside, there seeped such a smell
‘Twas smoke from a Newport Light, I blurted: “What the hell?”
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Turned on my compact florescent light bulb and threw up the sash.
The moon was full, but there was no mid-day glow,
Global warming had once again deprived us of snow
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature Chevy Volt, and eight peculiar reindeer.
With a skinny brown driver, I needn’t a moment of pause,
I knew right then it must be…OBAMA CLAUS!
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
Condescendingly he shouted to each of them by name!
“Now Morgan! Now Maddow! Now Matthews and Blitzer! On Schultz! On Sharpton! On all ye Bullshitzers!
To the top of the roof! To the top of the wall!
Don your ski masks and gloves, you each have them all!”
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The complaining and parroting of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Obama Claus came with a bound.
He had a big grey beard, and although it was dark,
I couldn’t help thinking: He looks like Karl Marx!
He produced an empty sack, that I saw clear,
“But I put our gifts out already” I said. “Why are you here?”
His eyes were so blood-shot, his nose like a cherry,
My God did he reek of bourbon or sherry!
His usual smile then turned upside down,
“I’ve come for your presents,” he said with a frown.
I asked why, believing not what I heard,
“Others don’t have as many gifts,” he said. “Don’t be a turd.”
I had worked hard all year, paid my fair share,
“Of that,” Obama quipped, “I really don’t care.”
“But I’m a loyal Democrat! I’ll even pay more tax,
Please Obama Claus, try to relax!”
He just rolled his eyes, blew smoke in my face,
And began stuffing his sack with considerable haste.
“But I voted for you twice! I thought you were cool!
Obama just chuckled, he was dealing with a fool.
“I bust my ass! I work hard for what I make!”
“And that,” Obama snapped, “is your first mistake.”
I lunged for Obama, man I was pissed!
But then three words stopped me: “Presidential kill list.”
I could do nothing, except stand there and huff,
That’s when I realized: America had f***ed up!
I imagined four more years, man whata’ bitch!
And I had not voted for Romney all because he was rich,
It was a fait accompli: we had sealed our fate,
All because some GOP asshole had said “legitimate rape”?
When Obama Claus was finished we had but one gift,
A visit from a President who gave not a shit.
All this time he said only the rich was he after,
Obama Claus deserved an Oscar for Best Actor
He returned to the roof and waiting sycophants,
Never caring at all if we were Donkeys or Elephants.
But I heard him exclaim, as he headed back to his elves,
“Merry Christmas, America! Now go f*** yourselves!”
The above is from one funny site! A political satire site if you will. Now go there and read it daily, as I will be doing (hey, bookmark the site like I just did!)…
Now go to the DuhProgressive now.
And how many of you men gave this to your wives and/or girlfriends? How many wives got this under the christmas tree?
Does Kerry Still Think Assassination Of The President And V.P. Is Funny?
By Ken Blackwell
Sen. John Kerry has a long and dubious record in foreign policy.
In the 1970?s, he testified against his fellow Vietnam War veterans before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. He charged that they were violating the Geneva Conventions every day in Vietnam. Some POWs were outraged at Kerry’s disloyal statements. They said they had been tortured by their Communist captors trying to force them to make such untrue statements.
Worse, Kerry went to Paris in 1971. There, he met with North Vietnamese Communists. We need to see all his notes from those meetings. Any negotiation between a private U.S. citizen and a foreign power is illegal. It violates the Logan Act of 1798. Did Kerry demand of the North Vietnamese Communists that they abide by the Geneva Convention? Or is that only a demand he made of his fellow Americans?
We do not charge Kerry with treason in the statements and actions he engaged in then. Treason consists of giving aid and comfort to the enemies of the United States. But this country has set a very high bar for conviction for treason–ever since the Burr Treason Trial of 1807. Nonetheless, we do say Kerry’s actions and statements then were not those to which America’s top diplomat should be linked. What was he thinking?
In the 1980s, Kerry campaigned for the Nuclear Freeze. The Soviet KGB, we now know, was a major funder and promoter of this disastrous idea. The Freezeniks believed that President Carter’s promise to send Pershing and Cruise missiles to our NATO allies in Western Europe should be dishonored.
Freezeniks thought that the only thing we should do in response to aggressive Soviet placement of SS-19 and SS-20 Intermediate Range Ballistic Missiles (IRBMs) in Eastern Europe was to freeze the West into no response. By freezing in terror, we could morally pressure the Soviets into withdrawing their missiles, the naive Freezeniks argued. Harvard’s Polish-born Adam Ulam famously punctured this pink balloon: “An’ wot will you doo iff they dun’t?”
Names, phone numbers and addresses of ‘journalists’ who printed names of legal gun permit holders
These are the phone numbers and addresses of the people that had the nerve to publish the names and addresses of the legal gun permit holders a few days ago in their news paper. Go and give em a piece of your mind.
Apparently these are the addresses of the “journalists”:
Journal News President: Janet Hasson, 3 Gate House Lane Mamaroneck, NY 10534 (914) 694.5204 Editors: Cyndee Royle, 1133 Westchester Ave., Suite N110, White Plains, NY 10604, 914-694-9300 Nancy Cutler 9 Woodwind Ln, Spring Valley, NY. (845) 354 3485 Parent company of The Journal News Gannett CEO Gracia C Martore 728 Springvale Rd Great Falls, VA 22066 (703) 759 5954 The reporter on the story is Dwight R Worley 23006 139 Ave Springfield Gardens, NY 11413 (718) 527 0832
Over-exertion from overwork blamed trying to fill orders. North Pole denies rumor.
NORTH POLE—A story has leaked from the North Pole which spokeselves emphatically deny. Eighteen elves have died and another twenty-seven were said to be hospitalized from over-exertion attempting to fill orders this Christmas. Elves do not have a union. Santa had to quickly add eight new Rangifer tarandus—Commonly called Reindeer in America—and a trailer to his sled to carry the orders that could be fulfilled according to a whistleblower at the North Pole.
“Thank goodness that they were hospitalized before Obamacare took hold,” the whistleblower commented.
Read it all HERE.
Please Pass the Kool-aid
Some people never learn. This is particularly true of liberals such as E.J. Dionne quoted in the Washington Post and online at RealClearPolitics.com. Very clearly his “real politics” are a combination of magical thinking and Kool-aid drinking.
Drinking Kool-aid plus cyanide is bad for you. Some readers may not be aware of the derivation of this Kool-aid connotation.
Cult leader Jim Jones founded his utopian, communism-inspired community, called the People’s Temple, in Indianapolis before moving to California and ultimately to Jonestown, Guyana. Reports on life there sound remarkably like Orwell’s 1984, with ‘Big Brother’ Jones broadcasting over loudspeakers day and night.
In late 1978, California congressman Leo Ryan went to investigate the commune — some members came from his district. When he tried to return to the U.S. with members being held against their will, he and a NBC film crew were killed. Ryan was the only U.S. congressman ever killed in the line of duty.
Fearing retaliation from the U.S. government, Jones convinced most of his followers to commit the “revolutionary act” of mass suicide. Vats of grape Flavor-aid were mixed and laced with cyanide. Babies and small children were fed the poison by their mothers. Those unwilling to drink were forced to do so at gunpoint.
On November 18, 1978, 912 individuals died from drinking the mixture, including 276 children. The actual powder used was Flavor-aid ®, not Kool-aid®. Unfortunately for Kool-aid maker Kraft Foods, because their product is so much better known, Kool-aid has acquired the negative association.
“Drinking Kool-aid” is thus code for doing something you know is wrong, but you do it anyway because someone convinced you that you should.
Believing that you can cut costs by spending $1 trillion dollars is… drinking Kool-aid. Blindly accepting that having health insurance guarantees that you will get health care is …Kool-aid drinking. Promising people they will get free health care even as you drive doctors out of medicine, well, that is lacing the Kool-aid with cyanide.