1-800-INFORM

“How do I report a non-essential business that’s still open?” Mayor Eric Garcetti asks.

But the real question is what sort of people want an answer to that question?

Informing on your friends and neighbors used to be something that the socialists on the other side of the Iron Curtain used to do. What kind of people, we used to wonder, do things like that?

Wonder no more. Cities and states across the country have made it the hour of the aspiring informant. If you always longed to live in Cuba, North Korea, or the USSR, all you have to do is dial 1-800-INFORM.

The smiling Los Angeles boss who, despite the order to close barbershops and hair salons is neatly coiffed, warns that “business ambassadors”, an Orwellian euphemism for enforcement agents who shut down businesses, will visit non-compliant businesses, followed by personnel from the Crisis Response Team, followed by law enforcement showing up, and then the barbers will be tossed into prison.

In New York City, on the other side of the country, informing on anybody violating social distancing is as easy as taking a photo with your app.

“Now it’s easier than ever,” Mayor Bill de Blasio, whose hair is also suspiciously styled, informs gestapo gothamites. “When you see a crowd, when you see a line that’s not distanced, when you see a supermarket that’s too crowded, anything, you can report it right away. All you’ve got to do is take a photo, put the location with it, send it, and bang, we will make sure that enforcement comes right away.”

If only Stalin had smartphones.

Governor Andrew Cuomo announced a PAUSE Enforcement Assistance Task Force taking down denunciations from informers by phone and online. And the Empire State Stasi also welcome, “photos and video of illegal gatherings.” Perhaps they might be interested in Cuomo’s endless conferences.

“We want local governments to enforce social distancing rules. I want to be more aggressive with enforcement because the evidence shows that people are violating it now more than ever before,” the New York boss barked.

Like his brother.

CNN’s Chris Cuomo was caught out of quarantine in the Hamptons with his family despite his coronavirus infection. Even as his brother had announced $1,000 fines, Chris Cuomo traveled to his Hamptons place and was allegedly out and about. “Your brother is the coronavirus czar, and you’re not even following his rules — unnecessary travel,” someone asked him.

But there’s no point in reporting the members of the nomenklatura. Every single mayor and governor who has shut down barbershops and hair salons is boasting obvious haircuts. Some, like Chicago’s Mayor Lightfoot, got caught getting their hair done. But all you have to do is look at the others.

Lightfoot’s administration wants reports of non-essential businesses staying open so she can levy $10,000 fines. Just don’t bother reporting whoever it was cut and styled the mayor’s hair.

“Investigators have been responding to complaints,” Mayor Lightfoot declared. Just not about her.

It’s not just New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles. Informing on your friends and neighbors is a nationwide trend where smartphone technology meets classic commissarism.

Now go and read the entire article at the Sultan Knish