Democrats Hold Early Convention

This has gotten completely out of control. I never thought I would see our country’s politics reduced to the degrading levels of a Banana Republic. Are we destined to become Honduras with rockets? More at this SOURCE


The Diplomad has received the following bulletin from the DNC:

The world’s oldest political party, the Democrat Party, has decided to celebrate its successful handling of Trump’s Corona Virus outbreak with an early holding of its National Convention. Showing, once again, that this party defies convention and stultifying ritual, the Convention is not being held in just one city.

According to DNC Spokeshuman, Mohammed Javier Sandra Rothstein-Mobuto (personal pronoun ‘Ze’), “We have borrowed the idea from the World Soccer Cup, and will be and are holding events all across the country. We, furthermore, will hold these events in what we call ‘Spontaneous Mode.'” Mohammed Javier Sandra Rothstein-Mobuto explained that this concept frees delegates and their assistants to participate at times and places of their own choosing, and not be locked into a top-down dictated schedule and venue.

Mohammed Javier Sandra Rothstein-Mobuto also described the innovative approach that delegates are taking to personal attire. The Spokeshuman explained that delegates have empowered personal assistants to engage in “open shopping.” That means, ze explained, “Our people are not held to arbitrary and oppressive store hours or long lines at cash registers. We, however, encourage our shoppers to wear masks for their protection.”

Ze noted that the delegates and their shoppers want the convention events to have a classy touch, so they are engaging in “open shopping” at outlets for Gucci, Rolex, Nike, Apple, and other brands and at high-end stores traditionally reserved only for those who can pay for them. That does not mean, ze went on, that, “We are ignoring traditional providers such as 7-11, Dollar, and small businesses all over the country. Our shoppers will visit them, as well.” Ze stressed that delegates, because of their deep interest in current events, will also be shopping for HD large-screen TVs at Target and elsewhere.

Delegates and assistants will be on full alert for efforts by white supremacists and Russian agents to infiltrate the festivities.

Mohammed Javier Sandra Rothstein-Mobuto promised that this will be the best and most colorful party convention held since 1968.

Ze rejected long-standing accusations from old cranks, e.g., The Diplomad, that the Democrats are the traditional party of lynch mobs (Here).

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I will be responding to the charge that I am an old crank.

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