Elvis Presley’s jockstrap goes on sale

Things you couldn’t understand if you tried:

  •  If a man pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.
  •  Somehow It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.
  •  Russians influencing our elections are bad, but illegal Mexicans voting in our elections are good.
  •  It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.
  •  Sexualizing children is bad, but 11-year-old drag queens are good.
  •  Illegals aren’t required to show ID, but citizens can’t buy cough medicine without it.
  •  Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.
  •  People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.
  •  Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.
  •  People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for college degrees.
  •  Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dogs are vaccinated.
  •  Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any Central-American who jumps the southern fence is welcome.
  •  $5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.
  •  If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.
  •  Politicians who say that the President is not above the law put illegal immigrants and themselves above the law.
  •  People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.
  •  Illegals don’t pay taxes, but they get tax refunds.
  •  We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.
  •  Voter suppression is bad, but not allowing the President to be on the ballot is good.
  •  Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

The jockstrap (pictured left) was custom-made by an Elvis fan and was worn by the King (pictured right) right up until he died in 1977. Celebrity memorabilia experts Paul Fraser Collectibles are selling the jockstrap as part of the Elvis Presley Museum collection. It was originally part of singer Jimmy Velvet’s collection, Elvis Presley’s close friend from the start of his career, who set up a museum to celebrate the icon’s life. Paul Fraser Collectibles’ Daniel Wade said: ‘Extravagant. Absurd. Sexually potent. This rhinestone-studded jockstrap is pure Elvis Presley.