I want to be an Access Manager

The Daisy Chain

Leap Frog

I spend at least four hours a day on the phone for work. I talk to people and they talk to me. I’ve noticed an international trend and I’ve bounced it off some people. The most colorful response to my request about Biden’s Handlers was, “It’s like nude leap-frog day at the queer bathhouse.” People hopeful of gaining benefits from a Biden presidency only have to pay-to-play and then insert themselves into the leap-frog game.

During the eight years of Obamanation it was pay-to-play. It’s how Obama went from being essentially penniless to being worth several hundred million dollars during two presidential terms. The Clintons kicked in as well and were able to send Hillary (SECSTATE) globetrotting around the world, bag in hand representing the US and the Clinton Global Initiative (now defunct that she’s out of power). In short, they did things the Chicago way.

Today, since Biden is essentially brain dead (but he can fog a mirror), his handlers are running for president. In some cases they are the same handlers who manage AOC.

Mexican Drug Cartels, Russian Oligarchs, all of China, and Iran, to name but a few, have primed the pump and crossed their fingers. They want to go back to the good old days.

This is how it worked four years ago. If you wanted access to Barack or Valerie Jarrett or some of the close influencers, there were about a dozen people who managed access. I knew one of them quite well. You took 50K in cash to the access managers (all Democrat Party Hacks) and would usually have to bring another $100K which would be handed off before you met with the great man. Unless you had a big problem, and the amount skewed upward from there.

Biden ran the vice presidency like his personal Individual Retirement Account, sending Hunter to Ukraine or China as the family bag man. You know those stories and I won’t re-hash them here.

Access Managers

I hear some of you asking yourselves what it would take to be an ‘access manager’. All you need to do is to become a Democrat Party hack. Once you’re trusted, the world flows to you. You will be named a fellow at the Harvard Institute of Politics or at the New Politics Institute, a think tank of the New Democrat Network. You’ll be appointed to serve on the advisory board to nonpartisan organizations such as Why Tuesday? that encourages increased voter participation. Or You’ll get a fellowship to Media Matters, the Big George Soros organization that delivers talking points to the Donkeys in the media every day. Eventually you’ll found a consultancy. You may become a contributor on CNN (the most trusted name in news).

But wait, that’s not all!

You will consult with a number of leading non-profits and corporations, all of which will give to Black Lives Matter and Antifa liberally (after all you are a liberal). Corporations that you recognize such as. Humane Society of the United StatesPlanned Parenthood, the American Cancer SocietyBest Friends Animal SocietyMonster.comToyotaDaimler AGSES AmericomCorning Inc., LabCorpIBMLionsgate FilmsBest BuyMcDonaldsPepsi, and Wave Systems. All of them will pay you a princely amount to help them manage their danegeld. 

But wait, that’s not all!

When you travel to foreign lands you will be treated by various heads of state as a visiting prince as you arrive in the Gulfstream 6 that they sent for you to travel in. Nothing is too good for you. Your particular sexual tastes will be indulged (in the extreme), the finest liquor, the best chefs in the world, and you’ll leave with new gold wrist watches, baubles and trinkets. Maybe a new Rolls Royce or Ferrari, depending on how you roll. They’ll be in the driveway of your mansion when you return, keys in the ignition, properly registered and insured.

But wait, that’s not all!

You’ll be invited to Hollywood parties, you’ll do drugs with your favorite stars and f&%k them if you want to. You’ll hobnob with luminaries of the entertainment world, media moguls, starlets, producers, and executives. Again, your particular sexual kinks will be indulged to an extent you never thought possible. You’ll be invited to the Academy Awards and while you won’t walk the red carpet, you’ll be there, in the back, with invitations to the right parties. You want to go to Epstein’s Island (back before he was whacked), your seat is reserved.

And you don’t even have to be a politician or kiss a baby. Write the proper words for the teleprompter (which Barack couldn’t live without and neither can Joe) and give them gilded paperwork to sign.

So you can see that these access managers have a stake in keeping their jobs.

From The Virtual Mirage

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With my luck? I would be in back of shall we say not exactly fit and trim naked women!