I’m a grumpy old man

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Wet wipes, those single-use wet tissues for babies and adults wanting something more than just toilet paper, are the scourge of sewer systems nationwide, according to several cities challenging claims that the products are safe to flush.

Pro tip: Wipe your butt clean with paper, then a wet wipe, then dispose of the wet wipe in your bathroom wastepaper can.
I can’t believe I’m giving instructions on how to wipe your ass here.