Jane Fonda Saves the Planet From Herself

Last year, Jane Fonda sold her “eco-conscious” Beverly Hills mansion, with its 7,102 square feet on a 36,000 square foot lot enclosing a his and her master suite, a glass elevator, 5 bathrooms, glass walls, fireplaces, a fountain, a meditation garden, a fully stocked gym, a pavilion with heat lamps, and a huge pool for $8.5 million after she found no takers at its original $13 million sale price.

“This was the first time in my 79 years,” Fonda enunciates with the deep pathos of an orphan finally getting a full meal as the camera zooms through the cavernous interior of a walk-in closet the size of some people’s homes , “that I have had a closet that you could walk in and see everything you have.”

As Gaia is my witness, If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, I’ll never go without a walk-in closet again.

Heartfelt music more appropriate to the reunion of a lost child and her mother plays in the background as the socialist actress describes her “amazing glass elevator, it’s like a gem”. Then she gushes about having a party with 150 people in the house. “We could have had another 50,” she brags. Then there’s her pool. “It’s so beautiful at night when it’s lit up.”

Fonda didn’t sell her mansion because she suddenly realized that two people living on a 36,000 square foot estate was bad for the environment. Even if the pool was solar heated. She had just broken up with her record producer boyfriend and was looking to scale down by getting something for the single life.

And so, the environmentalist activist went all the way down from a 7,102 square foot mansion to a 6,679 square foot luxury townhouse. The $5.8 million three-story home has 4 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, and a semi-subterranean three car garage which no doubt only stock Teslas. The master suite has its own fireplace, two walk-in closets, a marble bathroom, and its own balcony. There are staff quarters for the servants. And an elevator for a convenient way to get around the three-story condo.

The complex also offers indoor and outdoor swimming pools, and a tennis court. For the environment.

Every so often, Fonda leaves her Century City luxury condo to fly 2,311 miles to Washington D.C. to protest for the environment. Each of these trips by Fonda generates more CO2 than an average person in Madagascar produces in one year. At these ‘Fire Drill Fridays’, she arranges to get herself arrested (with all the CO2 emissions that entails) along with other California celebrities to demand that everyone save the planet by submitting to the poverty, misery, and destruction of the Green New Deal.

Fonda urged protesters to “take the next step beyond individual actions to reduce our carbon footprint”. She could have reduced her carbon footprint by getting rid of 6 of her 7 bathrooms.

But that wouldn’t have gotten the haggard leftist has-been another 15 minutes of fame.

“These are life-and-death decisions,” she falsely claimed before a silent meditation, three “hi-yahs”, and the vanity arrests in a city already overburdened by crime that largely affects its poor population.

Also arrested was Ted Danson, who last year bought a second compound next to his first compound in Santa Monica with a walk-in wine cellar (don’t call it a cave), he already owns a cottage in Nashville, a ten-acre place in California, and a six-acre multi-residence spread on Martha’s Vineyard. The Cheers star and blackface impresario is naturally concerned about the environment. He owns so much of it.

Brooklyn Decker, the Sports Illustrated model, also came to D.C. to fight for the environment. Decker and her husband have two homes, a 7,300 square foot mansion in West Austin, Texason 15 acres of land with an infinity pool, and the other, a 4-acre spread with 7 bedrooms in North Carolina.

Joining them in the Legion of Environmentalist Mansion Crusaders was Rosanna Arquette, an actress who lives in aPacific Palisades 1.36 acre ocean-view walled and gated estate with 7.5 bathrooms, floor-to-ceiling glass walls, and a 10,000-bottle wine cellar with its own tasting room.

“As Greta Thunberg said, ‘Our House Is On Fire’, and we need to act like it,” Fonda wrote.

Or our 10,000-bottle wine cellar anyway.

Read the entire article at the Sultan Knish